Fostering A Better Future

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Family of Foster Care Kids Need Love Too, Vicki and Brian Bolick adopted a 7-year-old girl this year after first serving as her foster parents. For this article, they chose to keep her identity private.
Family of Foster Care Kids Need Love Too, Vicki and Brian Bolick adopted a 7-year-old girl this year after first serving as her foster parents. For this article, they chose to keep her identity private.

 

Brian Bolick had his arms wrapped around his 7-year-old daughter, playfully hugging her captive.

“What’s the magic word?” he asked.

She wiggled a bit before yelling “please,” but he only hugged her closer.

“It’s peanut butter,” Bolick exclaimed, as he opened his arms and the giggling little girl went running.

From watching them, it’s unlikely anyone would guess they aren’t biologically related.

What not even the Bolicks would have guessed, though, is the path that brought the family together.

Brian Bolick and his wife, Vicki, had been hoping to adopt an older child for years but didn’t know where to start.

“It’s a weird chain of events that got us to where we are,” he said. “To me, it was kind of fated in a way.”

It began when Bolick signed up in 2009 for Leadership Forsyth, an educational program that helps community members learn how to get involved.

Each year’s class selects a service project, and Bolick recalled hearing from many nonprofits with suggestions.

He felt a personal call to help when listening to the executive director of a then-emerging organization called Supporting Adoption and Foster Families Together, or SAFFT.

“I remember Ashley [Anderson] up there making her presentation,” he said, “and just me thinking, well this is exactly what we’ve been talking about. There’s no excuses. Here’s a way.”

They had planned on having a child naturally, Vicki Bolick said, “but it just never happened.”

Feeling happy as a family, but not whole, the couple had floated the topic of adoption for years. It wasn’t until hearing Anderson speak that they really began the process.

Brian Bolick decided to get involved with SAFFT even if the group didn’t select that project, but apparently others were as moved as he was with the organization’s work.

The class voted to renovate a home to create a safe visitation center for families. When the project was complete, Brian Bolick continued his work with SAFFT by joining the nonprofit’s board.

The couple had learned a lot about adoption through volunteer work with SAFFT and the friendships they formed. But even so, they had little success at first working with a private agency.

“We had more resources at our disposal than I would say the average person, and yet it was still very difficult,” he said. “Months and months would go by, and we would never hear from them about any children. We couldn’t understand it.”

What they eventually learned was that the path to adopt a newborn baby and an older child isn’t the same.

Older children are in foster care, and are typically reunified with a biological family member or adopted by their foster parents.

“If you want to adopt an older child, you pretty much need to be a foster parent,” Brian Bolick said.

Anderson, SAFFT director, suggested they work through the Department of Family and Children Services, or DFCS, instead of the private agency.

“Why don’t you guys just foster,” Anderson recalled saying, “and if a child is meant to be, it will happen.”

They started as a respite foster family, or one that is approved to care for a child when the primary foster parent cannot or needs a break.

In spring 2012, the Bolicks first began to spend time with the girl who would eventually become their daughter, whose identity they chose to keep private for this article.

They were about to leave for a cruise that April when they received a call from DFCS asking if they could take the girl for a week while her foster parent was out of town.

They canceled the trip.

“We knew that we were a possibility for her, and we loved her so much,” Brian Bolick said.

The couple got to spend more time with the girl. By June, they were approved as her foster parents.

Vicki Bolick said the months afterward were an emotional wait, wondering if the adoption would happen or if someone would come forward for her.

“You just don’t know,” she said. “So we took a chance because we felt like even if it didn’t work out, at least we would have made an impact and otherwise we were always better because of her.”

In March, the wait was over. They became a family.

There’s no doubt in their minds that they were “just meant to be,” Vicki Bolick said.

The years of waiting and of confusion hadn’t been without reason.

“It never felt right until we met her, and then I just knew,” she said. “I remember the first time I saw her. It was at the SAFFT Christmas event.

“We were just looking over at the playground and she was playing. I didn’t even really know much about her story, but I remember just looking over and I told Brian, ‘That’s going to be our child someday.’”

The Bolicks have continued their involvement with SAFFT — only there are three of them now.

The organization recently moved into its new, larger building on Castleberry Road, and Vicki Bolick lent her interior design talents — with the help of her daughter — to make the place a welcome one for children, the one their girl remembers.

The two are also willing to share their story, in hopes that others thinking of fostering or adopting can learn something about the difficult but rewarding journey.

Foster care, they found, still has a stigma. Some people would question why they were doing it.

Brian Bolick said he also thought people didn’t understand the true benefits of adoption and fostering.

“People say, ‘Oh, that’s a great thing you guys are doing,’” he said. “It’s really, we’ve gotten a lot more out of it.”

As Vicki Bolick recalled, Forsyth County Juvenile Court Judge Russell Jackson told them early on in the process that they didn’t need “a child,” but “the child.”

And they found her, she said.

“I always felt she was born in my heart.”

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Meet Lisa Foster Care Kids Need Love Too Member

We want to thank Lisa Sternberg a member of the Foster Care Kids Need Love Too Family! for sharing her story. Meet Lisa, 27 years ago this day, DEC 20th 1986, five days before Christmas, I became a foster kid. I entered the “system”, set to be another statistic. The cards stacked against me, set to fail by society standards. Just another kid with a messed up life thanks to the sickness of a father. And it sucked…. a lot….and it hurt….still does. I spent years holding my breath waiting for life to go back to the way it was before, not understanding then that that life would have destroyed me even further than it already had. I almost gave up, I was ready to fail, I was ready to let the cards fall, I was part of the system…..
But what the system and the cards and society didn’t know is that there was this seed planted in me, long before anyone knew my name. I had this power to be an overcomer. I had this strength that no one else saw in me but God. I ran from Him, hated him, tried everything I could to destroy his creation…me. I drank as a teen, long before sixteen. I smoked. I attempted suicide, more than once, more than twice, more…, I was raped, I was promiscuous, I did drugs, I did all the things the world was telling me would make me feel better…and if I did them I would be normal, loved, not a number….all lies. Truth, God was there thru it all, waiting for me to fall.
Even thru all the turmoil I tried to put my best face and foot forward, and I had goals. I have traveled a lot and seen enough to feel life. I graduated high school with high honors and a full scholarship to College (from the system DCFS). I served my country (GO ARMY). I have a good life and great friends. I finally stopped being mad at God and let him have my life, he had it all along, and I just had to realize it would be better if he was in control. But perhaps the best thing I have ever done and the greatest lesson in life is the fact that I gave life to three beautiful children who will, God willing, never have to say on this day….I became a foster kid. Please support our movement. It takes a brave person with courage to share a sadden story. send your monetary donations to our cause https://www.wepay.com/donations/fostercarekidsneedlovetoo “Drawing Success” for the youth of our nation Happy Holidays!

14 DAYS OF GIVING

Jolly

Foster Care Kids Need Love Too

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14 DAYS OF GIVING. This game is very simple. We all know the holidays are approaching and even though it’s nice to receive gifts, there’s no gift like giving. This game consists of giving something everyday to someone you don’t know. It doesn’t matter how much or how little you have. It can be advice, it can be a smile, it could be a hug, it could be a few dollars. You have to do this for 14 days (ends on Christmas Day). GAME STARTS ON THURSDAY 12/12/13 Now in order to know if you’re playing the game all you have to do is COMMENT BELOW AND SAY “I’m in” and post a status daily that says: “#14daysofgiving Day 1 – COMPLETE or INCOMPLETE”. You don’t have to put what you gave or how much you gave. Just a status to let everyone know you did your part. This needs to be posted before 11:59pm EVERYDAY. For every day that you have an incomplete, you have to give to TWO people you don’t know the following day. That’s all. Now watch how good you feel when this is over! You ready? SHARE and encourage your friends and family to play! Also send your monetary donations to https://www.wepay.com/donations/fostercarekidsneedlovetoo God Bless!

Our organization has the best interest of foster kids of this nation

Foster Care Kids Need Love Too

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family 2013

Foster Kids Need Love Too® is an organization that has the best interest of foster kids of this nation at their heart. As a nation we obsess over the bringing up of our children. We make sure to provide them with the best quality of education for their mental growth; we provide the best food to our children to give them a healthy lifestyle; we provide them with the best medical facilities; and all this very rightly so, they are our children after all who will take the mantel of running this nation tomorrow, all this is their right and all of this will be provided by any parent worth their salt.
But take a moment here and consider those children who are the same age as your very own kids. Unfortunately for them there is no way to get all the best treatment in the world because they do not have any family that takes care of them and because they are all alone on this planet.
Think of the consequences for such a child. Lost in the world, they could end up on the wrong paths of criminality or abuse. If they make to a mature age, with their past marred with trouble and nothing good, they could end up in a lifelong destructing cycle of crime, of substance abuse and even of violence.
Think for a moment that just because they did not have a person in their life to guide them, these young minds which could have been put to great use of the civilization have gone rotten at the cruel hands of the unforgiving society.
That kid could have been you.
If not for that person who was there for you when you needed them the most; the person who listened to you and gave you a hand when you found yourself seeking a way out of a mess. At Foster Kids Need Love Too® we want to be that family for the unfortunate and underprivileged kids of our nation who are out there as we speak trying to navigate through the adversities of life, in need of person to look up to. We love foster kids and we want them to be our family. We want them to be a part of the bright future of our nation and we are determined in our quest to provide such children with food, care, education and above all, love.
Foster Kids Need Love Too® can only achieve this with your help. You can impart a child with a once in a life time fighting chance to turn their life around for better. Don’t you want to be the person to change a child’s future for the good? Don’t you want to be the person to hold the hand of one young child that may not be your own but will reply to your generosity with the impartial love of a child?
Foster Kids Need Love Too® will continue down this path of empathy and love and with your help we can keep on ‘Drawing Success’

Please send your monetary donations by clicking this URL link for Foster Care Kids Need Love Too https://www.wepay.com/donations/fostercarekidsneedlovetoo Thank you an god bless!

Foster Care 5K set for Saturday

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Trinity Baptist Church is sponsoring the Foster Care 5K Saturday for the fourth straight year. The name, however, has been changed.

Previously, the event was called The Jesus Day 5K. Since the event assists families of foster care parents, the church decided to change the name to the Foster Care 5K.

The church works with the Oklahoma Department of Health and Human Services to benefit foster parents in Pontotoc County. Participants may sign up on line by going to trinityada.com, according to Chris Snowden, associate pastor.

This year’s event is expected to attract 140 foster children and their parents. They will also be the recipients of a special room full of gifts and much needed items, which will be purchased with some of the revenues from this race.

This year’s race begins at the Kerr Dome on the campus of East Central University.

Starting time is 8:30 a.m. with pre-registration beginning at 7:30 a.m. at the dome Saturday.

For more information, call Snowden at 580-320-2463.

Also send your monetary donations to https://www.wepay.com/donations/fostercarekidsneedlovetoo